


Ethereal Balance

by NylonRabbit



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Coma, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Has No Chill, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Men Crying, Mpreg, Pining, Poor Hux, Pregnant Armitage Hux, Protective Kylo Ren, comatose hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 12:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20778218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NylonRabbit/pseuds/NylonRabbit
Summary: Hux becomes pregnant, and falls into a mysteriously ethereal Force induced state as a result. Kylo misses him. A lot.





	Ethereal Balance

It had happened early during the first quarter of a particularly taxing bridge shift and many months following the incident, Ren cursed himself for not seeing the signs sooner. He should have been more attentive, he’d told himself, less distracted and wound up by trivial details. Their strategies had been repeatedly failing as of late, and the Resistance had been continuously evading them for weeks now. He knew that was why he’d failed to notice Hux’s declining health over those coming weeks. But at the time, nothing had felt more important than proving to his subordinates that he was a competent leader, he’d been desperate to garner the respect of the First Order that Snoke had. In fact, prior to Hux collapsing on the bridge that day, a large part of Ren has resented the man for already having had achieved this. It was clear that both the officers and troopers alike favored Hux over himself as their leader, and that thought alone had enraged and embittered him to no end. Despite Ren’s obvious affection for Hux within the safe, isolated perimeters of their quarters, his relative success as Supreme Leader eclipsed everything. It was more important than the distractions of whatever bittersweet arrangement had transpired between the General and himself over the past few months.

At least, that was what he thought until the day Hux collapsed on the bridge.

Upon hearing the percussive thwack of Hux hitting the cold steel ground, Ren had cut himself off mid-bark at some lower ranking officer to see Hux laying against the ground, unmoving. In shock, his knee-jerk reaction had been to shout at the other man’s unconscious form and berate him for his poor capacity to take care of himself _before _they embarked on the already gruelling task of taking down their sworn enemies. Because it must have been Hux’s fault. Of course it was. The guy was permanently wound up like a tightly coiled spring, he barely ate and he barely slept. _That’s all it was._ He’d made a fool out of both himself and Ren by collapsing in front of their subordinates, but he’d wake up in a minute and he’d be fine…

But suddenly twenty minutes had passed, and after one of the more basic medic droid’s onsite examinations came up inconclusive, Ren’s priorities began to shift. He found himself neglecting any further instruction to the surrounding officers other than to fetch a stretcher and get Hux to medbay and _now, or else._

After hastily burdening his responsibilities for that day on the nearest high-ranking officer, Ren had hurried to medbay. He’d practically ran there, a horrible feeling building and metastasizing in his mind and body. He already knew something was very wrong, but he could have never expected to hear what he did once he finally clawed his way through the assault course of droids and staff to reach Hux’s bedside.

\--------

_ ‘What do you mean he’s pregnant? Since when?’ _ Ren demanded, glancing back from Hux’s bedside, where the man remained unconscious, a hospital gown now draped over his lithe form.

The medic, a humanoid male who looked as if he would have rather been anywhere but where he was right there, scrolled through the datapad before him with nervous, jittering fingers.

‘If the…the estimations are c-correct S-supreme Leader, I…it looks like your boyf…uh…_the General_ is around eight or nine…erm...weeks into the pregnancy…’

Ren narrowed his eyes at the medic, barely having to extend the effort to read the trembling man’s thoughts.

‘If you’re as concerned about me snapping your neck as it sounds, Doctor, perhaps you should hurry up and tell me exactly what it is that’s wrong with him, besides the obvious, and how you’re going to _fix it_…’

The medic’s eyes widened at that, having clearly not expected the sudden invasion into his mind.

‘Yes, well, you see, this...t-this is the thing Supreme Leader,’ he swallowed. ‘I’m afraid that…while we suspect it may somehow be linked to the…the General’s condition, it currently doesn’t make a lot of sense exactly what is wrong with him. We can’t wake him up.’

The datapad hit the floor just slightly after the medic was sent flying across the room towards the opposite wall, his yelping upon impact the only sound disturbing the otherwise unaffected environment. Everyone on board the Finalizer knew better than to make a spectacle of their new leader’s disproportionate reprimands by now, they did not want to be next.

_‘There’s no need for any more violence, Ben Solo.’_

And Ren’s own exacerbated breathing and racing thoughts were so loud, the first time he heard the voice, he assumed he must have been imagining it.

_‘Calm your mind. Don’t let your anger cloud reason.’_

‘Wh…Hux?’ Ren spluttered, turning to face Hux’s bed, bewildered and worn out from his outburst.

Sure enough, Hux’s eyes were open, staring wide, blinking up at the bright lights of the medbay. His expression was unreadable, and he remained still, on his back, arms by his side. His chest rose and fell calm and steady, something Ren had seldom seen from Hux in his conscious state.

‘Oh, gods, Hux,’ Ren whispered, running to the man’s bedside and grasping hold of his hand, squeezing it tight, almost in tears, witnesses be damned. ‘I thought I might lose you.’

But Ren’s relief was short lived.

Hux didn’t move so much as a muscle to look back at Ren, and as he looked into the General’s eyes he clocked the glazed over expression, the bizarre, glassy shimmer in his eyes as they continued to stare up at the ceiling. His gaze seemed so far away, it felt almost as if Hux was looking through the confines of the towering metal and steel structure and then straight out above their heads, into the vast, sprawling galaxy surrounding them.

_Wait. Had Hux just referred to him as Ben Solo?_

‘Hux, what’s…what’s wrong with you?’ Ren frowned, eyes darting over Hux’s form, feeling that horrible spawn of panic and dread re-animate itself inside his mind and body.

He let go of Hux’s hand then and grasped the man’s shoulders, shaking a little harder than he probably should have. ‘Hux, listen to me! Tell me what’s happening to you!’

But still, the other man remained motionless, locked into an impenetrably serene and frustratingly inaccessible state.

‘Armitage, please! Is this some sort of act of petty revenge? Is this because you feel I’ve been ignoring you?! Because if it is, you’ve got what you wanted now, OK? So you can just…’

‘You’re letting your anger harm your mind, Ben Solo,’ Hux spoke again.

‘Why in the _hells_ do you keep calling me---‘

‘There’s no need for you feel anger. I know you are concerned for me, but I assure you, I am not in any danger. I am perfectly safe. I can see everything now. All of it. There’s nothing to fear.’

Ren let go of Hux’s shoulders then, gently rearranging his body amongst the sheets.

‘All of what, Hux?’

‘The Force, Ben Solo. It’s inside my body and my soul now. There’s no fear here. Everything is balanced. Save your pain, for you have no need to grieve me, I am serving a higher purpose now.’

Hux’s eyes closed then, gently and slowly, in a way cruelly mimicking a peaceful descent into sleep, a softer sight Ren had often secretly cherished witnessing within the safety of a dark room, wrapped up together under a warm tangle of bedsheets. But to his devastation, something in Ren already knew that this was not the same.

\--------

Another month passed before the results of Hux’s blood tests were returned, and in all this time, Hux had remained, at least for the most part, in a completely comatose state. The medbay staff were in equal parts fascinated and terrified of Hux’s condition. He appeared to be in illogically good health, with the only incident in which his stats had dropped and the monitors started flashing being shortly after Ren had left him on the first day. It became clear his body had an adverse reaction to being fitted with any sort of breathing or feeding apparatus, and despite any lack of explanation as to why, it seemed both he and his offspring were in perfect health without the requirement of either.

Ren had not accepted this explanation at first, and had demanded they fit him with all the life sustaining apparatus at their disposal, demanding to know whose idea it was to murder their superior officer. The medbay staff had been sure they’d meet Ren’s wrath before Hux had awoken, for the first time in many weeks.

_‘Don’t harm them, Ben, they mean me no harm. It’s true.’_

Something about hearing Hux’s voice once again in that moment had tipped Ren over the edge. It sounded like Hux, it looked like Hux, but whoever was laying there in that bed, speaking to him with that detached, impersonal tone; it wasn’t Hux_. It couldn’t be. _

‘Shut up!’ Ren had roared at him, then, hands grasping for his saber in a fit of blind rage. ‘You’re not him! You’re not him! You’re not him!’

His voice broke on the last repetition, and he realized, to his horror, that he’d taken several steps forward towards Hux’s bedside before he came out of himself and saw what he was doing. He’d shut the saber off immediately, shoving it back into its holster with shaking hands and storming out of medbay and as far away as possible from the situation. He’d felt sick at what he’d almost done. How could he have even considered harming the man he was fairly certain he loved as he lay helpless, pregnant with their child?

And by the time the results of Hux’s blood tests were reported back to Ren, the situation became harder still.

‘It would appear some of our suspicions were correct, Supreme Leader,’ one of the medics informed him, in a quiet room away from the rest of the medbay ward. Ren could only assume this was to save face in fear of being hurled against a wall at whatever unwanted news was about to be delivered. ‘You see, what the General told you, of The Force, and his link to it… it appears there may be a reason for that. The General’s blood reads with a very high level of midichlorians. Higher than anything previously recorded in any retrievable medical history. We believe this is likely the cause of his current…uh…state…whatever that may be.’

‘He’s a Force null. That doesn’t make any sense.’

The medic nodded along with Ren’s disregard of the information, sighing as he looked up from the datapad before him, meeting Ren’s gaze.

‘You’re quite right. Supreme Leader. He is, as you say, a Force null. Your child, however, being half him and half you, well…it seems it has the highest midichlorian reading ever discovered. Far exceeding that of even…even your grandfather’s, Supreme Leader. It’s our best guess that the pregnancy and, well, your genetics, they are likely responsible for the General’s current state. It’s almost like he’s transcended into some sort of previously undiscovered divine consciousness, entirely connected to The Force and—‘

Ren had heard enough.

‘Will he ever regain consciousness? Properly, I mean. Will he ever be himself again?’

The medic sighed heavily, sorrowful expression upon his face that Ren couldn’t quite detect the sincerity of.

‘That, Supreme Leader, I cannot say…’ the medic shook his head, bracing himself as closed his eyes in expectation of the vicious brunt of Ren’s frustration.

But there was no retaliation. Ren was gone before the terrified medic could even open his eyes.

________

Ren did not visit the medbay in the months that followed. At first, he’d retreated into denial. The situation wasn’t happening because in Ren’s mind, he’d conditioned himself every day since the diagnosis to believe that Hux hadn’t, and in fact never _had _existed. Those stolen moments in the comfort of their quarters were as interchangeable with any encounter with a stuffy, preening officer he took a liking to on any given night. Hux hadn’t been anything special, and he’d tell himself that until the bitter end. And the child was irrelevant, an unfortunate bi-product of a meaningless affair. It would be sent off to the trooper program as soon as it was born and never told of its Force Sensitivity or its parentage. Hux would probably die following the birth, and that would be that. It would be as if the whole mess had never happened, and it would be easier that way. He had more pressing matters to address.

This mentality suited Ren just fine. Until it didn’t.

It had been three months since Ren had last visited Hux in medbay, and until that morning in the mess hall, he’d been successfully suffocating his pain and grief and continuing to lead the Order the best way he could. Things had improved somewhat, in fact, in Hux’s absence, Ren had noticed a considerable increase in both compliance and productivity amongst the officers and troopers. They were gaining on the Resistance day by day at a staggering speed, with Ren channelling any of his useless sentiment for his loss into vicious combat tactics and an unrelenting ambition to lead the Order into victory. He was alert and undistracted, prepared for anything and everything that came his way.

What Ren hadn’t accounted for within his carefully constructed sphere, however, was for his fabricated world to crumble around him within seconds of entering the mess hall on that fateful day.

As always, Ren’s mind scoured the many voices in the mess hall, seeking out any potential signs of mutiny or distrust. Nothing of any such nature. But his mind quickly homed in on a conversation emanating from the other side of the mess hall between a group of Lieutenants.

‘Have you seen him yet?’

‘No, have you?’

‘Of course I have! It’s messed up. I went in there for some bacta gel last week, didn’t need it, but I wanted to see if I could catch a glimpse of the freak show.’

The officers laughed in appreciation of their storyteller, a youngish lieutenant now standing up from the bench of their dining table, arms flailing around to convey just how amazing his recollection must have been. Ren’s eyes narrowed. _‘I saw him.’_

‘Oh Gods, what did he look like?’

‘Well, he’s definitely pregnant, that’s for sure. I’d thought that might have just been a load of bantha shit, but no! He really is!’ The Lieutenant was by this point arching his arms out before him to mimic the presence of a pregnant belly and laughing to the point his face was starting to flush red, the rest of the table following suit and cackling along with him. ‘But that’s not even the half of it, you should have seen his eyes! All rolled back into his head, but he was awake! I didn’t get to see the full thing but I heard what he was saying. He was asking for someone called Ben Solo! Over and over again! I swear, he looked so ridiculous he—‘

But the lieutenant’s next words were choked out of his throat, his fellow officers scrambling away from him, crawling and cowering down beneath the underside of the table as Ren stormed towards them, hand outstretched and eyes glowering with rage. The storyteller, his victim, now raised several feet before him in the air, clawing at his throat and eyes bulging in terror. And Ren was all about ready to snap the insolent fool’s neck, before the voice came to him…

_‘There’s no need for any more violence, Ben Solo.’_

Ren’s grasp on the Lieutenant’s neck released itself automatically, the man dropping to the floor before him, rasping and gasping for air on the ground amongst his now terrifed crowd. Ren’s gaze darted between all six of them as he steadied his breath and tried to maintain at least some form of retroactive composure. Suddenly, three months of painfully repressed emotions came flooding back to him – the need to protect Hux, to care about him, to love him, _to see him…_

It was all too much.

‘You’re all demoted,’ Ren barked, and with that, he made a swift exit from the mess hall, making a direct route to medbay.

________

‘I’m so sorry I left you, Armie…’ Ren whispered, finally free in his own private quarters to strip himself of his stoic role of Supreme Leader, or at least whatever he personally believed that to be. He expected Hux would have had a lot to say on such a definition, had he currently been, well…_Hux._ He’d have likely mocked him and presented him with a list of incidents in which this had definitely not been the case, and certainly wouldn’t have calmly informed him there was _‘no need for violence, Ben Solo.’_

_Fuck, he missed that pompous bastard so much._

Hux was now six months into the pregnancy, and upon his visit several weeks ago, he’d ordered that Hux be permanently transferred to Ren’s quarters, given his current ‘divine’ state, as the fools at medbay referred to it as, he needed very little medical attention with the exception of occasional routine check-ups regarding his pregnancy, which could easily be performed within Ren’s quarters with the aid of a medic droid. He would not stand for any further ogling or public voyeurism at his poor General’s expense. Ren had provided Hux with his own separate bed, conscious of harming him or their unborn child with Hux in such a state, but made sure he was kept in the same room as him. He needed to make sure his love was safe, always. During shifts, he’d employed only droids to attend to any need Hux may have, fearful now of the potential of a coup from any organic beings within the Order.

‘I love you, Armie, I want you back so much,’ Ren whispered as he knelt by Hux’s bedside, listening to the man’s slow, rhythmic breathing and watching his peaceful, yet unresponsive face. Ren felt as if his heart had been torn straight from his chest as he stared back at the man, _his poor Armitage_, who he’d abandoned and left alone for_ months_ to be mocked and ridiculed by fellow officers. He hadn’t heard Hux speak, or witnessed him conscious at all, since he’d brought him back from medbay, and a desperate part of him knew he’d have even accepted that, however hollow and intangible, in these horribly lonely and painful moments. Tears escaped Ren’s eyes and rolled down his cheeks before he’d even had chance to register it was happening. He grasped Hux’s hand and squeezed it, just as he had done that very first day, and kissed his forehead.

In many ways, Hux looked happier and calmer than he’d ever been to Ren’s knowledge, free of the burden of running the Order alongside him, laying peacefully in his ‘divine’ state, safe and protected by the staggering influence of the Force running through his body. Ren wondered if Hux had known about the pregnancy, before he’d collapsed that day on the bridge, and whether or not, if he’d known what would happen to him at all. Was the willing acceptance caused purely by the overpowering influence of the Force within his body, or was that voice that’d spoken to him, so cold and distant, had that actually just been Hux all along, truly serene in his state and speaking to him?

Ren glanced over Hux’s body, scanning over his now rather prominent belly. He placed a hand over it, but took it away shortly afterwards. Despite his efforts, he resented the pregnancy. And even though he had come back to Hux, his decision was still final with regards to the being that had caused all of this in the first place. If Hux remained in this state after the birth, or as he feared, died, the wretched thing would still be put into the trooper program. It was an evil little parasite, and it had taken the man he loved._ It had taken his poor Armie from him._

The months went by from this point onward very much the same. Every morning before leaving their quarters, Ren would check on Hux, ensure he was okay, and kiss him on the forehead, and every evening after his shift had ended, he’d return and do the same. Ultimately their main interactions seemed to amount to a variation of the same three phrases: a quick ‘Morning, Armitage, I’ll be back soon’, ‘I’m home, Armie,’ and a considerably more difficult ‘Goodnight, darling, I love you.’

This went on for so long that Ren hadn’t even realized that there was clearly a large part of his denial still present until three months later, when, upon returning from bridge duty one day, Hux’s eyes had suddenly snapped open, his expression still glazed over, but his arm reaching out and grasping Ren’s for the first time since he’d fallen into his ‘divine’ state.

‘Ren, it’s time,’ Hux had breathed with a jolting level of urgency in his otherwise disembodied tone. ‘You must promise me to protect her, whatever happens to me. I know you love me, and I love you. So please, don’t deprive her of affection and care.’

Ren wasn’t even able to respond before Hux fell back into a deep state of unconsciousness, the medic droid sending a message for backup within seconds.

_______

‘Congratulations, Supreme Leader, you’re a father,’ the medbay nurse informed Ren as she emerged from the operating theater, and Ren could already tell by the forced expression on her face and in the overcompensation in her joyous tone that something was wrong. ‘Would you like to see your daughter?’

‘Where is he?’ Ren demanded.

‘No, no, Supreme Leader, it’s a girl! She’s just over across the hall in—‘

‘Where is General Hux?! Where is he?’ Ren cut her off, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, a sinking sensation in his stomach.

‘Supreme Leader, there were…well…there were some complications. We did everything we could, but well, he…he seems to be fading away, and we’re not sure why…’

Ren’s heart sank.

‘Take me to him immediately!’

_______

Hux lay still as ever against the bed. It was clear the medic droids and staff had tried their best to patch him up, but the poor man looked paler and unwell as Ren had ever seen him. He rushed to the other man’s side in a split second.

‘Armie! It’s me! It’s Kylo, are you alright? Are you there? Please speak to me…’ Ren begged, grasping both of Hux’s hands gently and kissing him on the forehead as he had every day and night for three months, pushing sweat drenched strands of copper hair away from his forehead.

‘R-ren? Is…is that you?’ Hux asked weakly, and as the man opened his eyes Ren realized he was now looking back at the real Hux, the man he knew and loved with all his heart, every fibre of his being.

‘Yes, darling, oh Gods, yes, it’s me!’ Ren gasped, peppering Hux’s face with kisses and holding him in the softest, gentlest embrace he knew how. ‘You’re back, you came back to me! I can’t believe it’s you!’

But Hux felt limp in his arms, his skin was too cold, and his chest hitched with laboured breaths against Ren’s own as he held him.

_No, please, no…_

Ren laid him back down on the bed, panic stricken.

‘Armie?!’

‘They told me she was a girl,’ Hux swallowed through teary eyes. ‘Please, look after her, Ren, she’s special. She needs you. Don’t pull her away from the light.’

‘I…but…Armitage…you can’t leave us…you can’t…’

He squeezed his hands tighter over Hux’s then, leaning down to press their foreheads together, feeling the lump forming in his throat. And suddenly he felt it all. The balance. The overpowering sensation of the Force. Life, death, power, suffering, joy, compassion, the deep love he felt for Hux, and everything in between. It coursed through Ren’s body like something he’d never experienced before in his entire life, changing him, releasing him of all the hate, the pain, the misery and the trauma he’d experienced within his short life. And as this unknown sensation flowed through his body, Ren was so connected to Hux in this moment, he reaized the same hurt was dissolving within the other man’s mind, a simultaneous weight lifted from both of them, something neither of them could have ever hoped to be removed within a hundred lifetimes, instantly gone.

As it finally ended, and their nerves settled, Ren pulled back to view Hux, watching as the color returned to his cheeks, and the life returned to his eyes.

Hux smiled back at him teary eyed, seemingly miraculously bestowed with the strength to pull himself up out of bed and pull Ren into a tight, loving embrace.

‘I felt it,’ Hux sighed into the small of Ren’s shoulder, ‘You didn’t believe I was there then to say it, but I was. There’s nothing to fear, we’ve seen the balance.’

And there was nothing left for Ren to say as he planted a deep, loving kiss against Hux’s lips.

‘Now,’ Hux smiled, a genuine smile Ren had never seen before as they finally pulled away from one another. ‘Would you like to meet your daughter?’

**Author's Note:**

> I know there’s several allusions to both Kylo and Hux turning to the light side or somewhere in between in this fic, and it is something I may be interested in exploring in the future, as well as the conflicts their daughter may feel about this once she becomes an adult and is given a choice, but for now, I am leaving this as a one-shot, although I may continue in the future!
> 
> PS. This fic is based on a twitter drabble I made. My handle is @rabbitnylon if you want to chat! = ]


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